The sun is out, it’s August, Mrs. Screencaps’ flower gardens are glorious, football returns this week and it’s time to crank out a fresh edition of Monday Screencaps after my final (sorta long) vacation of 2026.

Starting this week, you’ll get continuous padded football games to gamble on until the end of January. You degenerates have made it to the finishing line. That doesn’t mean you should stop RESPECTING SUMMER, but it means you’ll now be able to RESPECT SUMMER on the patio with football games on in the background.

What does football mean to our being on this planet? Marco Rubio made it clear during this interview with Lara Trump over the weekend. Ladies, we want one thing and it’s not as disgusting as you make it out to be.

PERCEPTION IS REALITY, AND THE SEC NEEDS TO START WINNING AGAIN BEFORE IT CONTINUES TO PUFF OUT ITS CHEST

We just want a miserable day in late October to ourselves to watch football on a Saturday. All day. That day might start on the couch and end on a neighbor’s patio sucking down drinks while watching the SEC try to stay relevant in the national championship chase.

Then, on Sunday, we want to reorganize the garage…with the NFL on the garage TV(s). This week, our journey begins.

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DOLPHINS CHEERLEADERS MAKE MAJOR MOVES TO COMPETE WITH COWBOYS CHEERLEADERS, TEBOWS GET OUT & RYAN CLARK!

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‘SOPRANOS’ STAR SINGS NATIONAL ANTHEM AT METS GAME ON SAME DAY THAT FELLOW CASTMEMBER DIES

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Let’s hear it for (sorta) new country(ish) singer Macy Kate belting out a national anthem

I had no idea who Macy Kate is until she popped up in my IG algorithm. I think she popped up because SeanJo liked her content, which typically pumps content into my algo. Long story short, Macy got her start in pop music like a decade ago. Her flame burned out, but then she started dating Tampa Bay tight end Payne Durham and now she’s back and trying to reconfigure as a country(ish) pop singer.

Between the Dodgers anthem and a video Macy released last week where she’s riding in a truck with Payne while he’s looking at a cell phone, these two are poised to have a big 2026 NFL season. How do I know? These two are able to agitate the Instagram losers. “That’s not cool. Driving, hugging, and using cell phone. I mean … not cute,” some cat lady wrote on Instagram.

Some pronoun warrior also jumped in. “(A)nnnnnd we’ve crossed the line from cute to unsafe. Wear a damn seatbelt,” the bitter (probably) single woman moaned.

Now, let’s compare Macy’s anthem to this disaster at some women’s softball game. Choose your fighter.

Lollapalooza crowd in 2026

What happened to our music festivals? I don’t even recognize what went down in Chicago over the weekend and I’m not even talking about the Asians refusing to wrestle in this pit. The music industry is a complete disaster.

I get it, the lineups change as generations change, but when Olivia Dean and Jennie are your Saturday night headliners, we have issues. Dean is some British pop singer and Jennie is some South Korean K-popper. Time magazine swears Jennie is one of the top 100 most influential people of 2026. Yeah, OK.

Yeah, but the Smashing Pumpkins played Friday night. Oh yeah, about that performance, Billy Corgan brought out Olivia Rodrigo to help sing “Thirty-Three” and make it sound like a sh-tty American Idol performance so her dork fans would then go nuts and post the performance on TikTok.

So dumb, but, they have to pay the bills, so they’ll keep pumping out the TikTok artists.

Respect Summer

Ben from Wisconsin has his little ones out there in the yard smacking golf balls. #Respect

Who went to the Grand American this summer?

Never forget that this was Vandalia, Ohio’s baby until 2006. Trapshooting belonged to a stretch of road along U.S. 40 where guys shot clays while aiming towards Dayton International Airport.

“The Dixie Highway and the National Road, two chalklines drawn across the smooth slate of Ohio, meet ten miles north of Dayton at a village called Vandalia. At Vandalia are the $100,000 grounds of the Amateur* Trapshooting Association of America, where, late every August, with eleven freight carloads of clay targets (made of sand and plaster of Paris) and $32,000 worth of shotgun shells, are held the most important trapshooting events in America,” Time magazine wrote about the Grand in 1932.

It’s all gone now. Even the shuttles I used to drive up and down the Grand grounds.

– Kevin has a problem: Joe, great to have you back in the saddle.  With the cost of everything going up I have a new shakedown scam going on – dorm room decorating. What should it cost to make your dorm room liveable?

I have a daughter going out of state and she has put together a list on Amazon (#notsponsored) that tops out at over $800. That’s her half! Now it includes essentials like bedding….I think that may be all that is actually “essential”. I realize she is a girl and they are different from boys (yes America – boys and girls ARE different) but the idea that she needs to deck her dorm room out is a bit much for me.

It’s her and a roommate and they have their own bathroom – so they need shower curtains and liners, multiple trash cans and all that. But a padded headboard for her dorm bed which of course needs a mattress pad, dust ruffle, throw pillows ‘so when I come back to my room it’s comfy and warm and welcome.’ Joe, if she’s made her bed more than 10 times in the past year other than when she’s changed her sheets I’ll pay for half the T’s airfare to their next Mediterranean destination.

Is this a thing now? Dorm rooms getting decked out? This doesn’t even include the cost of getting her out to school and flying home. What would you say is a fair budget number? SC Nation please tell me I’m not crazy.

Kinsey: You’re not crazy, Kevin. Let’s face it, the freshman girls are looking for social media content. They cannot be seen as having an inferior setup. Your daughter has seen on TikTok — for years — what it looks like for college freshmen girls to move in and start their college careers. Those TikTok videos have influenced her. The blame for this is social media.

Your only line of defense here is to buy her the essentials and tell her to buy the padded headboard with her own money. Or you bite the bullet now, buy the headboard and stand firm that this is a one-and-done scenario. Good luck!

Are there any dads out there who can provide cost analysis? How much are you guys spending to furnish your kids’ dorm rooms?

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That is enough for this Monday morning. There should be plenty of content to get you guys fired up and moving this week. Good luck to all the students who started sports over the weekend. Screencaps Jr. gladly rode his bike to cross country practice where he’ll go through a grueling 90-minute workout. I told him to go play pickleball afterwards just to keep the day rolling. He gladly accepted that challenge.

That’s the energy I want to see out of us today. Let’s go get after it.

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