Waitress provokes fed-up customers after claiming that ‘gratuity’ isn’t a tip — and why they should give even more

Here’s a tip that no one asked for.

A self-identified waitress recently took to social media with a simple message for patrons: gratuity is not a tip.

“Gratuity is gratuity, and a tip is a tip,” the woman said in a TikTok video that’s made the rounds on social media, reigniting the heated discussion surrounding America’s tipping customs.

“If you can’t afford to tip, then you shouldn’t be out, plain and simple,” the waitress said. TikTok/@itslovedaisy

Though the terms “gratuity” and “tip” are often used interchangeably, the waitress said that the automatic gratuity charge some restaurants tack onto bills is sometimes split between members of the waitstaff.

“Out of that gratuity, the waitress has to pay the bartender, the person making your drink. Out of that gratuity, the server also has to pay the barback, the people who help clean up [and] make sure the tables stay clean. So when I give someone a receipt and they look at me and say ‘gratuity is included,’ I say, ‘gratuity is included, but a tip is not,” the woman explained.

“If gratuity isn’t solely going to the person who is serving you and your server is treating you right, making sure you have everything, keeping your space clean, being responsive, and just, you know, being a great server, then you should tip your server. If you can’t afford to tip, then you shouldn’t be out, plain and simple.”

Over 3,000 people commented on her original post, while over 8,000 people weighed in on an Instagram repost of the video.

“This is what people are talking about when they say tip culture is out of control. Gratuity is definitely a tip, one TikTok user wrote.

“Gratuity is a tip! Servers you need to take this up with your employer. I’m not tipping on gratuity. So you shouldn’t work at an establishment that strictly requires gratuity. Telling people they shouldn’t be out is rude! Because really and truly tipping is optional!” another user said.

“I was a server for many years and gratuity is the formal word for “tip”. Please stop,” a third commenter wrote.

Some commenters felt it was the responsibility of restaurants to consider how gratuity is split — not customers.


A customer paying for coffee using an NFC bank card on a handheld POS terminal at a cafe.
Some social media users said it’s not their responsibility to consider if gratuity is split between staff. st.kolesnikov – stock.adobe.com

“The breakdown of how it is divided is beyond the customers’ responsibility. To expect an additional %20 on top of %18 [sic] gratuity seems to be something you need to take up with your employer,” one commenter wrote.

“Still a tip if you get a cut,” another commenter quipped.

Americans have become increasingly frustrated by the pressure to tip.

A recent survey from Popmenu survey found that 78% of customers believe tipping practices “have become ridiculous,” with 66% of customers saying they felt pressured to leave a tip even when they received poor service.

The rise of paying through digital screens has also impacted tipping, with 59% of customers saying they felt compelled to leave a tip when presented with one.

But some customers are fighting back. A 2025 survey from Talker Research found that the amount Americans spend on guilt-induced tipping fell 38% from $453 to $283 from 2024 to 2025.

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