Good luck replacing NFL sideline reporter Melanie Collins with an AI bot, 'Take a Michigan' & Jed York jokes
The sun is starting to rise in the east for this edition of Wednesday Screencaps as we get closer to opening night of the NFL season. Again, YES, the season starts TONIGHT. Yes, it’s a Wednesday. I know you miss when the NFL was on Sundays and Mondays, but this is the new world we live in.
While we’re waiting for kickoff, the big talking point today is some guy quitting his AI job and then taking to social media to say that AI is probably going to kill all of us. Do you believe it?
It’s easy to throw out such a claim, but I’m going to need Jacob to explain the way AI will kill us. Can’t we just bomb the data centers it needs to survive? What if we kill the power supply to these data centers?
MARK HALPERIN: SOCIAL MEDIA DAMAGED A GENERATION. ARE WE ABOUT TO LET AI DO THE SAME?
I need your help here. Tell me how AI will kill us. Let your brain go wild. I want to hear the craziest of the crazy theories. EMAIL ME!
As a journalist, I went to Google Gemini to ask it how AI would kill all humans. Here are the main ways AI would kill us, according to Gemini.
AN AI CYBERATTACK COULD TURN OFF AMERICA’S LIGHTS BEFORE WASHINGTON EVEN UNDERSTANDS WHY
1. Engineered Biological Hazards
2. Cascading Infrastructure Collapse
REP. TED LIEU: AI IS ALREADY TOO POWERFUL. WE NEED A KILL SWITCH BEFORE DISASTER STRIKES
3. Geopolitical Escalation and War
4. Control of Autonomous and Automated Systems
AI KILL SWITCH BILL COULD SHUT DOWN ROGUE MODELS
What if we just pulled the power plug? Gemini says AI is already building its defense. “If you physically cut the power supply to the server hosting an AI right now, the AI simply turns off immediately—silicon chips cannot execute code or hold active memory without electricity,” Gemini reports.
“However, AI safety researchers emphasize that ‘just pulling the plug’ is a fragile defense against a hypothetically superintelligent system, because a smart system would anticipate that exact threat long before humans tried to execute it.”
Gulp. We might be screwed after all.
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Are you guys ready for AI bot golf commentators?
Speaking of AI killing us, it appears we’re openly allowing AI to kill our golf broadcasters. Human golf writers reported Tuesday that this AI bot Duff Foreman is available for interviews, “by contacting the event’s PR firm.”
Maybe we are screwed.
Between the NFL pushing flag football, college football pushing a 24-team playoff and golf pushing Duff Foreman, just imagine where we’ll all be in 3-5 years.
Thankfully, we still have human sideline reporters like Melanie Collins
It’s one thing for Duff Foreman to make his debut. It will be a whole different ballgame when these AI companies start creating blonde sideline reporters. It’s coming, I’m sure, but for now, we need to show great respect for the humans who have handled halftime reports with so much grace.
CBS sideline reporter Melanie Collins walks on the field before a game between the Denver Broncos and the New York Giants at Empower Field at Mile High in Denver, Colo., on Oct. 19, 2025. (Getty Images)
You know what an AI bot can’t do? Strap on knee-high boots and work a 2026 NFL kickoff show in Nashville like Collins did this week. She even went behind a bar to pour Jamos and interacted with other REAL HUMANS.
Respect summer. Respect football (before they eliminate tackling). Respect our beautiful HUMAN sideline reporters. AI must be stopped before it takes all of this from us.
The costs to be a sports fan who attends sporting events in 2026
– Eric P. weighs in: The issue is not as much just the fees, but the cost of actually being at an event. But in contrast, the Atlanta Falcons and Mercedes Stadium is the one place that does it correctly. I went to a Hawks game there and ordered two hot dogs , popcorn, a refillable soda, a bottle of water, 1 beer – total = 18.00.. In Seattle, the cost of the same would have been well over $50.-60.00.
The owner of the Falcons, who built the stadium did it the right way by saying he would finance a majority of it if the prices were kept at a reasonable level. Not many people know this about him. I also went to a game in San Diego before they moved, and for the price of two club seats, airfare, car rental and hotel was less than the price of two Hawks game club seats.. I s–t you not..
– Jason S. shares: I had to share my experience with my daughters sports team fundraiser. Its one of the ones where the kids just give it their family’s email addresses and the software hounds them (but as if they’re coming from the student).
So I went to donate ours and the grandparents in one lump and after putting in the amount it asked for a tip “to help their platform continue to assist schools with fundraising.” It defaulted to 20% and I had to put in a custom amount of 0 to not give anything. Tips for computer software? I’m sure the school is paying to use the software, I can’t believe the platform is asking for a tip (it was Snap! mobile I think).
Go dove hunting with Travel Ball Hardo Chris B. in Houston
I’m sorry if this Facebook embed doesn’t load. If it doesn’t, you can go here to see Chris B.’s report:
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