That’s the case for Gale Emigh, 73, who separated from her husband of 40 years six months ago. They have agreed to avoid a “messy and costly” divorce, she said, instead asking their financial adviser to pay them equally every month from their shared pot. She is staying in the house they bought together in Sequim, Wash.; he has moved into an apartment in California, where the pair spent most of their lives.

Their marriage, though not necessarily unhappy, had become “stagnant,” Ms. Emigh said. Sometimes, she could coast along, ignoring the emptiness she felt. Other times, it smacked her in the face, like at their son’s wedding. She had such a good time, Ms. Emigh said — laughing, dancing, practically overflowing with joy — only to realize she had spent almost no time with her husband the whole day. Back at home, she often felt lonely even when her husband was sitting next to her.

“I finally came to terms with: This is what it was going to be if we stayed together,” she said.

The period following a later-in-life separation, though, is not always easy to navigate. Dr. Brown noted that while younger adults tend to recover within a year or two of divorce, older adults tend to take more of a financial and psychological hit. Her research has also found that men are more likely to re-partner after a gray divorce, partly because women tend to outlive them, shrinking the pool of available partners. But there is also evidence that women are less interested in re-marrying after divorce than men.

Certainly, online dating has changed the equation for older adults coming out of long marriages, offering at least the perception of options. According to a 2023 Pew Research Center report, 14 percent of Americans in their 60s, and 12 percent of those 70 and older, say they have used a dating app.

Mr. Hickenbottom “dated like crazy” after he divorced, he said, before meeting his fiancée, whom he has been with for two years. (He and his ex-wife remain friendly, he said.)