Best of the Babylon Bee: Congrats! Iran wins $300 billion cash prize for placing second in war

Every week, The Post will bring you our picks of the best one-liners and stories from satirical site the Babylon Bee to take the edge off Hump Day. Want more of a chuckle? Be sure to click the links.
“This is the happiest day of my life! I’m going to buy so many missiles!” said Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei as he moonwalked across the desert sand. “Super stoked to try again next year!” READ MORE
“Kamala was good, but I think the algae would do a better job leading the country,” Democratic voter Kelsey Waters said. READ MORE
“Welcome. I’ve been expecting you,” said Obama as people slowly entered the top floor. “You no longer need those,” he said, cutting off guests’ entry wristbands. READ MORE
At publishing time, Starmer had reportedly accepted a new position as an aide to the “probably gay” Ayatollah of Iran. READ MORE