1. California wants (to steal) your business

by Harris Sockel, Editor 

Last weekend, Ro Khanna doubled-down on his support for a 5% billionaire asset seizure in California, tweeting, delusionally, that illiquid founders (whose worth is tied up in their companies) should pledge stock as collateral for loans to pay the government.

Valar Atomics’ Isaiah Taylor responded: “My family has bled sweat and cried” to build a company, “the idea that [Ro] can just steal this from me is awful and evil,” to which nonprofit journalists screeched, it’s just a one-time tax!! (it’s not) (it’s also not a tax).

What we have here, it seems, is more than your typical socialist wealth redistribution. It’s a pundit class intent on dissolving the idea of private property because houses are expensive.

Raising taxes is one thing; asking guys building the future of American energy to hand over their companies to the state is quite another. Ro: Do YOU want to mass-produce nuclear reactors?? I’d love to see you try! 

2. An uneasy alliance with Robocop

by Mike Solana, Editor in Chief

Following decades of endemic car break-ins, and one especially hellish year in which criminals turned to home invasion after tourism declined during COVID, San Francisco smash-and-grabs have plummeted nearly 10x.

In the words of Dreamlife Rizzy, a rapper from Hunter Point, “Crime in San Francisco, period, that s*** over with, brother.” Mr. Rizzy points, correctly, to new police tech, including Flock cameras and drones, as the reason for this sharp turn back to order, which Mayor Lurie’s government has leveraged to success.

Thus, we face the uncomfortable question of “do I want to live in a world of ubiquitous cameras, or do I want to live in a world of crime?”

And look, I do worry about President Cortez’s use of this technology in the next pandemic. There just aren’t perfect answers here. But while we all — respectfully, thoughtfully, fruitfully — have this debate, I’ll enjoy the spectacle of robots dragging criminals to prison.

3. Balls In Your Court

by Evan Milenko, Writer

It’s a tale as old as time: Man falls in love with basketball, man plays in the NBA, man becomes woman and enters the WNBA draft. But in a shocking twist: The left isn’t celebrating — it’s the right who’s supporting Enes Kanter Freedom and his/her journey to the WNBA.

“She” is posting inspiring training videos pumping iron (set to girlboss music) with her breasts and glorious six-pack laid bare. Kanter Freedom is engaging in something we here at chud headquarters like to call “advanced trolling,” which has forced an actual WNBA committee to now deliberate the question: “what is a woman?”

And… they still can’t say!

Their confused reaction here to Kanter Freedom’s stunt has shown that Woke 1 never actually died, though the left now prefers we stop discussing its “craaaazier” (AOC’s words) elements publicly (namely, the holy proclamation that “trans women are women”). Screw that: Stop the transphobia, WNBA, and let this 6’10″ beast play.

Pirate Wires offers the wildest stories in technology, politics, and culture.

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