The Real Housewives of Orange County star Jennifer Pedranti is one of the kindest women on reality TV. From being a mother to her 5 children to re-entering the workforce to being there for her friends, Pedranti isn’t shy about the struggles she has faced. Earlier in the season, her son, Greyson Pedranti, bravely revealed his unresolved feelings about his parents’ divorce. “That situation was crazy for me because I pride myself on being very close with my kids,” said Pedranti. “I was a little taken aback because I couldn’t believe I didn’t know how he felt.” However, the mother and son are in a great place now. “He’s pretty darn smart,” said Pedranti proudly.

After seasons of the ladies scrutinizing Pedranti’s relationship with Ryan Boyajian, Pedranti and her fiancé have finally set a wedding date, which they’ve chosen to keep private for now. Oddly enough, it wasn’t pressure from the RHOC co-stars that pushed the couple to make a decision; it was pressure from Jennifer’s children. “I had to drive Greyson to work the other day, and he’s like, ‘Mom, I’m putting you on the hot seat. When are you marrying Ryan?’” remembered Pendranti. She continued: “It’s just been long enough. I am tired of talking about it; Ryan and I need to do it.”

Returning OG Vicki Gunvalson has been deflecting to Pedranti’s relationship all season instead of answering questions about her own relationship with boyfriend, Mike Smith. “I’ve heard Vicki say several times that being on the show has ruined relationships for her in the past,” said Pedranti. “If she can deflect attention onto somebody else’s relationship instead of her own, she’s going to do it. I feel like she thinks it’s protecting her and Michael.” Perhaps that’s another reason why Gunvalson called Pedranti “low-hanging fruit” in last week’s episode. “She probably sees me as someone a little bit soft and kind,” said Pedranti. “I do think she meant what she said [and] that hurts.”

Pedranti stopped by the Decider studio to chat about the new season, share an update on her family, tease the cast’s upcoming trip to Tokyo, and more.

DECIDER: Jenn, what does it mean to you to be part of the landmark 20th season of the franchise?

JENNIFER PEDRANTI: I don’t know how to articulate it. If I’m being honest, I cannot believe that I’m a part of Season 20. It blows my mind because I will meet girls who are around my own daughter’s age who come up to me, and I’m shocked that they have any idea who I am.

Gen Alpha will never know a world without the Real Housewives, and I think that’s a beautiful thing.

My son, Greyson, is 17, and my daughter, Everleigh, is 14. They have their high school Homecoming coming up. I was telling Greyson that I want to help at Homecoming. He’s like, “Mom, you absolutely can’t because everybody would freak out.” I’m like, “Your friends don’t know who I am.” He’s like, “Mom, they know who all of you are.”

The show couldn’t have reached this landmark without its OG, Vicki Gulvanson. What were your initial thoughts when you found out she was returning full-time?

Oh, I couldn’t wait for Vicki to come back. I heard all these stories about Vicki, and she certainly lives up to them. I don’t even know how to explain Vicki to people. On one hand, she’s mean as a snake and says the rudest things [laughs]. On the other hand, you see her hobbling around on those crutches and you just want to love on her.

Switching gears, I love that we’re seeing more of your kids this season, but we’re also seeing some tough conversations. How is Greyson doing today?

He’s doing well. That situation was crazy for me because I pride myself on being very close with my kids. When he opened up about how hard the divorce has been on him, I was a little taken aback because I couldn’t believe I didn’t know how he felt.

As a parent, you can never stop talking to your kids. Take any opportunity you can—car rides, lunch dates, whatever—to chat with them. I’m grateful because our relationship is better than ever. When he spoke about being bullied, he told me: “Mom, it’s not about me; it’s about them. They have something they’re going through.” I thought, “This kid is incredible. He’s pretty darn smart.”

It also seems like your kids are really comfortable around Ryan, which is wonderful to see. Are your kids pushing you two to pick a wedding date as much as your castmates?

Yes [laughs]. I had to drive Greyson to work the other day, and he’s like: “Mom, I’m putting you in the hot seat. When are you marrying Ryan?” I’m like, “Wow, okay!” [Laughs] So Ryan and I picked a date. We’ve called my parents. We’re doing it right before spring break next year. We’re just going for it. It’s j been long enough. I am tired of talking about it; Ryan and I need to do it.

Congratulations! You and Ryan picking a date also means Vicki can’t use your relationship to deflect from her relationship with her boyfriend, Mike. Why don’t you think she wants to talk about him on the show?

I think relationships are a pain point for Vicki. I’ve heard Vicki say several times that being on the show has ruined relationships for her in the past. Being in this friend group has been hard on the men she’s been with. I can see how devastating those experiences were for her. If she can deflect attention onto somebody else’s relationship instead of her own, she’s going to do it. In her mind, she is protecting her and Michael.

In last week’s episode, Vicki also calls you “low-hanging fruit,” which she didn’t see as an insult, but everyone else did. Why do you think Vicki tends to go after you?

Even though she apologized, I think she does view me as low-hanging fruit. She probably sees me as someone a little bit soft and kind. I’m not this super successful, money-driven businesswoman like she is. I do think she meant what she said. I’ll be honest, it hurts.

I was glad that Emily Simpson and Shannon Storms Beador had your back. What did it mean to have their support in that moment?

When she called me “low-hanging fruit,” we had just gotten to Vicki’s house. So, when she said it, I paused and asked myself: “How rude is she? Do I say something? Do I let this go?” So, it meant a lot to me that Shannon and Emily stood up for me. As a viewer, it was nice to see them do that for you. Yeah, it was nice for me too. These are my girls. I might have let that comment slide, but they didn’t. I really appreciated that.

At the end of the episode, Vicki freaks out when the conversation in the hot tub turns to her boyfriend, Mike, and to her not being present with the group. Do you feel that Vicki needs to share more to be a meaningful part of this circle of women?

I do. A lot of my interactions with Vicki feel very one-sided. If you ask Vicki about something hard, she’ll often say, “I don’t want to talk about that because I don’t care about what you think.” That starts to wear on you as her friend because there’s no give and take. If you’re gonna be in this space, you need to open up about your life and listen when others share their stories. Vicki is the OG! [Laughs] She should know this more than any of us; this is what we do. I wish Vicki would trust the group enough to open up.

Maybe the reason why Vicki was freaking out was that Mike was nearby and could hear everything. What was his presence like in the house?

We didn’t know Mike was gonna be there, but when we got there, he was amazing. He bought her a golf cart for her birthday. He was taking us all for a ride. He was so much fun. When we got home later in the evening after the hot tub, he came home and went to the bedroom. Then she came out telling us that he was pissed about whatever she said to him in there. It felt so weird. We were in this man’s home, and now he’s pissed at us? That was uncomfortable.

Out in La Quinta, you did finally get to room with Emily because her bestie, Gina Kirschenheiter, wasn’t there. Did the experience live up to your expectations?

I loved it. To be honest, I’ve gone back and forth on this whole Gina and Emily rooming together. It’s fun to share a room with your best friend and be able to gossip. If they take a room together and I get my own room, I’m all for it. However, Emily and I have gotten closer because we see each other every day at the gym. It was fun to bunk with her and give Shannon her own room.

We all know the reunion is on the horizon. Who do you think will have the most to answer for, and why?

Heather [Dubrow] and Vicki. I’ve seen Heather saying she feels like she’s been in the hot seat this season. That makes me feel sad for her. She also has shared that she’s been feeling picked on. I hate that she feels that way. We pointed out a pattern in her behavior that we’ve all noticed, and she’s taking it as an attack. Maybe we all would if we were in her shoes, but that was not our intention.

What can you tease about the rest of the season? I know there’s a big trip to Japan coming up…

Oh gosh, Tokyo was so much. [Laughs] There were a lot of laughs; there were a lot of tears. There were some very uncomfortable moments. Tokyo was a place I never thought I would visit. So, overall, it was an amazing trip for me.

New episodes of The Real Housewives Of Orange County air Thursdays at 8 PM ET on Bravo