A hot tip to battle performance anxiety? 'Pretend flush' a mistake down the toilet

Don’t let negative thoughts or fear mess with your performance. Psychologist Cindra Kamphoff, who helps athletes and business leaders keep their confidence in high-stakes situations, offers anxiety-busting tools from her new book.

Anton Vierietin/Getty Images/iStockphoto


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Anton Vierietin/Getty Images/iStockphoto

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In 2012, psychologist Cindra Kamphoff was running a marathon. Then at Mile 22, her self-doubt started to kick in. She remembers telling herself, “This is dumb. Why am I doing this?”

But Kamphoff, who works with top athletes on how to overcome performance anxiety — including from the Minnesota Vikings and USA Track & Field — was prepared. She had written positive phrases on her arm that she could read when she needed a boost during the race: “I’m strong, I’m fast, I’m fit, I’m ready.”

This is just one of many techniques that Kamphoff shares in The Confidence Habit: 7 Core Practices to Transform Self-Doubt to Self-Belief, published in September. The book offers creative ways to manage fear and negativity — like pretend-flushing your mistakes down the toilet — before, during and after a high-stakes task.

These tools can be applied to any situation, whether it’s a race, work presentation or a job interview. The goal is for people to “be their best in the moments that matter most to them,” she says.

Kamphoff, who has a PhD in sport and performance psychology, shares four tools you can try today.

Move on quickly with “learn, burn, return”  

Maybe you fumble the ball in a big game or forget the lines in your school play and can’t stop thinking about it afterward.

If you make a mistake during a high-stakes moment, Kamphoff says it’s important to move on quickly.

She suggests a tool she calls “learn, burn, return” to build back your confidence and keep your goals in reach. Try this if you fumble mid-performance, or as a way to reflect after the event.

Learn: Ask yourself, what did you learn? Use this prompt: Next time, I will _____.

Burn: Think of a motion or a cue you can use to remind yourself to move on quickly. Kamphoff says you can snap your fingers, say “that fast” or “you might literally pretend to flush a toilet.”

She taught the toilet flush move to former Minnesota Vikings player Adam Thielen, who used it after he fumbled during a playoff game in 2020. He then went on to catch a 43-yard pass over his head that helped the Vikings win the game.

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