Selling Sunset‘s Bre Tiesi traded luxury million-dollar mansions in Los Angeles for “horrific” barracks in the Malaysian jungle when she signed on to Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test.

“Apparently, I’m a glutton for punishment. Apparently, I want to torture myself,” Tiesi joked during an interview at DECIDER’s Manhattan studio, before earnestly admitting, “No, I really just wanted to see if I could do it.”

The real estate agent and reality TV star joined Season 5 of Fox’s hit series alongside Ruby Rose, Candace Cameron Bure, Collin Gosselin, George Santos, Oliver Hudson, and more celebrities. Together, they set out to survive the elements, along with gruelling challenges designed by directing staff (DS) Mark “Billy” Billingham, Jason “Foxy” Fox, Rodolfo “Rudy” Reyes, and Jovon “Q” Quarles.

From battling brutal living conditions and facing an unexpected fear of heights to “trauma bonding” with fellow contestants and testing her physical and mental capabilities, Tiesi quickly learned that Special Forces isn’t for the faint of heart.

Ahead of Episode 3’s premiere on Thursday, October 8, at 9:00 p.m. ET/PT on Fox, Tiesi reflected on the life-changing experience, telling DECIDER, “I took so much away. It completely changed me in so many ways I never thought it would. It was just deep. It was heavy. It’s a mirror to a lot of things that I haven’t thought about, or processed, or done anything with since I was a kid… I think they gave us something that you could never get on a normal day.”

Read our full interview with Tiesi below to hear her family’s thoughts on her joining Special Forces, navigating the show while nursing an injury, who she bonded with most in the jungle, and more.

DECIDER: You’re a glamorous, successful real estate agent with an amazing shoe collab. You’re a mother to a beautiful son. You’re thriving. Why would you go on Special Forces? 

BRE TIESI: Apparently, I’m a glutton for punishment. Apparently, I want to torture myself. No, I really just wanted to see if I could do it. I’ve always kind of been a tomboy. I like extreme sports. So, we’ll see how I do. 

I know your ex, Johnny Manziel, was on the last season of Special Forces. Did you call him and get any advice? 

Yes, I did! I was like, “This is your fault that I’m being asked to do this show.” He actually just said I’d be fine. He literally didn’t say anything else. He’s like, “I’m not gonna tell you too much; I’m not gonna say anything. You will be fine.” And I was, like, “I don’t know if I trust you, but okay.” 

He went out earlier than I expected on his season. 

Not for me. That’s a lot longer than I thought he was going to do. Knowing him as well as I do, I was like, “Yeah, I don’t think he’s going to make it past the first day.” He did, he did. I was proud. 

I know you got a cosmetic procedure pretty close to when you were going to leave for Special Forces. Why didn’t you let that stop you? 

Well, it wasn’t necessarily cosmetic. I actually keep getting scar tissue buildup in my chest and my collarbone. So it’s been like my fourth one, and I’m actually very athletic, so I had to stop everything. I barely had walked around at that point. I just thought, “I’m not gonna have another opportunity. I actually have the time in my schedule between filming my other shows.” And it just made sense. I felt like I’d been training my whole life; I shouldn’t be that bad. 

Well, you haven’t been lagging behind in anything we’ve seen on the show so far. 

No. I don’t feel like I lagged at all, honestly. I was just very concerned about nursing my injury, and that was always in the back of my head with everything I did. 

And your son, Legendary, is already a legend at four. I know he was pretty skeptical about you going on Special Forces. Has his opinion changed at all? 

Yes. It took daddy to basically start being like, “Mommy’s going to be a superhero!” And then it was like, “Oh, mommy is a superhero!” But before that, he was like, “Why would you do that? Why are you going to jump out of a plane?” So now that he’s seen it, he gets very excited. He thinks it’s so cool, and he keeps talking about it, and it’s like our bedtime thing. He wants me to tell him all the things I did on Special Forces. 

That’s so cool. And it sounds like you had Nick’s support on this endeavor.

Support-ish. He was like, “I don’t know why you want to do this, but go ahead.”

I spoke to Mauricio and Alexia [Umansky], who told me they didn’t tell their clients that they were going on the show. They just said they were taking a vacation. 

Hilarious. 

Did you follow that same approach with your clients? 

No, I tell everyone. It’s like I’m basically going to the jungle. I don’t know if I’ll make it back or not. No, I did definitely inform everybody because I’m on top of all my stuff. People would know I’m missing, and we don’t need that. 

You mentioned the jungle. This season was filmed in Malaysia. Every season has been in a different environment. Do you feel like you got the best one, or is there another one you would have preferred? 

We were by far the worst one. They literally said the absolute worst place you could possibly be is the jungle. I think Morocco would have been better. The sand, of course, is difficult, but nothing like that jungle. Those elements were insane; that humidity, just everything. It was brutal. 

I do love this group of recruits this season. Who did you bond with the most while you were there? 

I’d say probably Alicia, but everyone. I was actually surprised how connected we were from the jump. I mean, we are doing some really crazy stuff together, and we’re in really vulnerable situations. So I think we all just got super close. 

Yeah, the words “trauma bonding” keep coming up. 

It was definitely trauma bonding 1000%. I mean, you can’t be completely sane to throw yourself off a building by choice. I think enduring it together — you could never really explain this to anyone else, especially if they’ve never done something like this. The elements as well. 

And what was it like living in the barracks? I heard it was pretty gnarly. 

It was horrific living in those barracks. We had cobras, scorpion; we had to kick the can, take a friend, and make sure there was nothing in it. Then you’re sleeping in these sleeping bags, and it’s so hot and miserable. You’re drenched in sweat, but you’re too scared of what might get in your sleeping bag to not wrap and close yourself up. You’re showering with scorpions falling out of trees. It was diabolical. 

I heard you only had one bar of soap for everything? 

That we all shared. We didn’t even think about it; we did not care. We were so dirty that we were like, “Let me know when you’re done!” It was bad. 

In Episode 2, it’s clear you were so, so scared of that heights challenge. Can you walk me through how you got through it? 

I don’t know, I think I blacked out, honestly. I had no idea I had a fear of heights at all. I’ve gone through tall buildings, gone by the edge; I’ve never even been squeamish. I’ve always thought about jumping out of a plane and going skydiving. So when I actually had to throw myself over this rail, and I was looking at the height, I was convulsing, like shaking. You can’t control it, and I’m like, “I’m scared of this?” I didn’t even know. I feel like it probably would have been better if I knew going in, but I was just proud that I was able to get myself over the railing and just do it. 

You had Collin Gosselin right by your side, and it seemed like you two really had a good connection. Did it help to have him right there with you? 

It did. He kept me talking, and I love to talk shit and joke around, so it was just a good vibe to take us out of how we’re hanging 500 feet in the air. I think he’s a sweetheart, and I think that he knew exactly what to say. He knows how important being a mom is to me and my sweet spot, so as soon as he brought up Legendary, I was like, “Okay, I have to do it. I can’t not do it now.”

And I love the Directing Staff (DS). I think they are some of the greatest personalities. And it tickled me when Brandi Glanville tried to hit on Billy Billingham. Did you hear any of that exchange? 

I did not. I wish I did. But watching it, I was dying laughing because the guys are so mean, but they’re so funny, and you can’t laugh, because then you’re gonna be like Alicia doing push-ups. So we’re all trying to keep a straight face, and the things that they would say were just comedy. But I wish I had seen Brandi. I actually didn’t get to interact with her. 

I know she was out pretty quick. And since filming, have you gotten to know any of the DS?

I have, yeah. We talk a little bit. We’ve seen each other on press days and stuff, but I think it’s more that you just have a different level of respect that you can’t explain after doing what we did. And people that do this every day and live like this, it’s crazy. 

In Episode 2, we also see LeSean McCoy, George Santos, and Ruby Rose all self-eliminate. Who were you the saddest to see go, and why? 

I think Ruby. I had no idea where she was at. I didn’t really know about her injury. I vaguely remember hearing about it, but I didn’t really know what she went through, and that she was struggling to the level that she was. Then those elements are really, really hard on you. She’s also vegan, so she wasn’t necessarily getting the dietary — they were doing the best they could, but we’re also in the jungle. So it was sad to see her go for sure. 

In Episode 3, it looks like you guys are getting into hand-to-hand combat a little bit. Were you nervous to do any of that? 

I love it. I think I was the only one besides Alicia — I just didn’t wanna fight her. I was like, “Please God, just don’t put me with her. I just bought this nose; I don’t need this.” She is an ultimate fighter. She’s insane. So that one will be fun to watch. 

Obviously we’re still at the beginning of this journey for all of y’all, but what did you take away from this experience? 

I took so much away. It completely changed me in so many ways I never thought it would. It was just deep. It was heavy. It’s a mirror to a lot of things that I haven’t thought about, or processed, or done anything with since I was a kid. I didn’t even know it was a problem. I think it really changed not taking [the little things] seriously, and really being in the moment and appreciating what I have and where we’re at. And knowing that if I can do that, I can literally do anything. So I think they gave us something that you could never get on a normal day. 

I was going to say, Selling Sunset has got to be child’s play after this. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, “Girl, I do not have time for this. I was just in the jungle.” So Selling Sunset, all of that, became not a problem. 

I spoke to Carmela Garcia from Real Housewives of Orange County, and she said you were the O Group colleague that she would most like to see come over to Orange County next season. 

Oh, how funny. Well, for one, I’d have to be a wife and a housewife, which we won’t be doing, but I appreciate that. It’s funny, I have a lot of people say they would love to see me duke it out on Housewives, but maybe they’ll have… I don’t know what I would be. It’s not gonna be a Housewife. Maybe another similar show. 

I was a big fan of Selling the OC, so I was bummed to hear that Alex Hall said on a podcast that the show was no longer filming. Do you think there’s room for her in West Hollywood at Selling Sunset? 

Hmm. I don’t know. You can only have so many big personalities in an office. I have not interacted with her that much, to be honest. I don’t really know. And the new girls have a very interesting vibe. I don’t know. And Christine? And me? I don’t know. I don’t know, girl. I’ll think about it. 

Well, you did get some time in the jungle with Mauricio, CEO/founder of The Agency. Did you guys talk about business at all? 

No, we didn’t talk about any business. All we could think about was that we just had to make it through this next thing. I think that was actually the cool part about what we were doing. It didn’t matter who we were, didn’t matter what we had in common, where we came from, anything. It was literally just in that moment. It was a very different interaction.

And off-topic, it is spooky season. How do you get in the spirit of Halloween?

I’m one of those crazy people who does it every weekend. I take my son to a new something for Halloween. We do all of the things. Underwood Farm. Anything we can find that’s Halloween, literally every day. We’re pretty annoying about it, actually. We love it.

What is your favorite scary movie, and does Legendary have a favorite Halloween movie? 

No, he hasn’t gotten that far with the Halloween movies. I’m trying to do The Nightmare Before Christmas, but I think he might be scared of that, so we haven’t found a sweet spot. He likes Bluey. He’s all for that. But for me, I wanna say I like pretty much all of them. Like The Conjuring. I like all of the scary, scary. 

Have you seen Obsession? You should watch that.

Oh wait, no. I have not seen Obsession. I’m gonna watch that. That’s a new one. 

This interview was edited for length and clarity.

New episodes of Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test air Thursdays at 9:00 p.m. ET/PT on Fox with next-day streaming on Hulu.