1. Alexa, make me rich

by Jonas Du, Writer

Wednesday, in the latest installment of a new show we’re calling Tech CEOs Please Think Before You Speak on Live TV, Jeff Bezos doubled down on his prediction that AI would create a labor shortage in an interview with Fox’s Bret Baier.

While a majority of Americans worry about AI-induced unemployment, Bezos says future households will only need one income-earner working 3 days a week, thanks to AI “productivity” — which is, coincidentally, also the reason white-collar yuppies think they’re going to lose their jobs.

Obviously, the potential for mass labor market disruption is more immediate than Bezos’ future world of abundance, and Amazon itself fired 30,000 corporate workers over the last year.

Bezos’ vision is more appealing than the leading alternative AI future (death), but while we wait 5-10 years to see whether he’s right… can Alexa at least make me money rather than spending it all during “Prime Day”? (Okay that might be my fault…)

2. Kick some shiny, metal a**

by Evan Milenko, Writer

Thursday, The New York Times reported that Robot Entertainment Kombat (REK), a “humanoid robot fighting league,” was sent a cease-and-desist from the California State Athletic Commission after hosting unsanctioned boxing matches between men and the terminator (a tele-operated Chinese robot).

Video of one fight went viral, showing a six-foot steel gladiator trading some tough blows with influencer Frankie LaPenna.

But this is a sports story, so don’t you dare count out the underdog!

Despite California’s move to shut down one of the coolest things that’s ever happened in California… REK’s CEO notes that the state defines “matches” as occurring between “two persons” — and after some fact checking, we here at Pirate Wires can definitively state: robots are not people. Looks like man v. metal combat is legal (for now), and humans will continue risking their lives for glory and chicks. And guess what?

That influencer won two of three robo-fights. Dude’s got balls of steel.

3. FBI raids local death machine

by Blake Dodge, Writer

Last week, federal agents arrested 23 people for drug trafficking (meth + fentanyl) on LA’s Skid Row. Per prosecutors, some of the dealers were from out of town, parachuting into Hell in order to make a quick buck.

Local reactions have been mixed, with some — such as the government grant-supported Los Angeles Community Action Network — calling the raid a “publicity stunt,” and arguing that the operation’s resources should’ve gone to housing (lol).

But as Pirate Wires’ Nicole Wizman has reported, Skid Row residents are (shockingly!) reticent to move into LA’s abundance of half-empty housing shelters.

And frankly I don’t care what motivated the raid. For Heaven’s sake, it took place near a taxpayer-funded needle-exchange “care campus” that had become a hub for drug dealing.

If overdoses, dead puppies (real), and the “family section” of Skid Row (also real) don’t prompt a modicum of reflection on the part of the government… maybe “publicity stunts” will?

Pirate Wires offers the wildest stories in technology, politics and culture.

Download The California Post App, follow us on social, and subscribe to our newsletters