The one-man of the hour

Billy Crystal. Imperial Theatre. His two hour one-man show — the only body on that stage. He wrote it, he stars in it. “860” is the address of his long loved, long lived-in house that burnt to the ground in California’s Pacific Palisades wildfire. Go see the show. After an evening of laughs he talks about “finding humor in loss.”

Flying solo

Not his first solo shot. In ’88 he itched to do a one-man show. In ’89 he again said he wanted to do a one-man show. On 4/11/00 he repeated he wanted to do a one-man show. In 2011 I quoted him saying he wanted to do a one-man show. Year 2010 sitting together at a Yankee game he said he wanted to do a one-man show.

Laugh away

In ’04 he hosted the Oscars with six writers. The Broadhurst created an exercise room for him under the stage. Jerry Seinfeld hoisted him up to change a lightbulb. In ’01 I reported Naomi Campbell’s eyelashes were thicker than Billy’s beard. In ’97 he packed along “a special toothbrush” — whatever that is, or was. In ’99 a cast member of SNL.

Carried a baseball card in his wallet. In ’08 a fan wanted his autograph while he sat on the can. Hosted nine Academy Awards but, he said, “I never watched one of them. Hosting’s fun. The aftermath stinks.”

Caroline’s Comedy Club spawned him. Remember when “Harry met Sally”?! The Friars bar got renamed for him.

All that was done. Go see him. The show’s terrific.

Trump’s blowing their ‘cover’

TRUMP’s been deep-sixing CNN, MS and Politico from covering him on federal property. First Amendment. The Constitution states free press cannot be abridged. CNN’s Erin Burnett began nightly Trump smashing. The Census Bureau stated USA’s median income at record high and poverty lowest since the Census began tracking it. Many outlets did not mention it. Banning news because of politics seems protected by the First Amendment. Exposing corruption is, supposedly, also protected — and the White House can’t use its power? As usual, Bill O’Reilly is pushing out another bestseller — but not all media will push it. The Supreme Court needs to decide this “access” question. Meanwhile, west side political clubs leaning left-er. Fie on middle ground. Forget centrist. Soon cars won’t even turn right.

Bit of ad-vice

STUFF I’ve gathered and which I’m willing to share:

Hugh Grant: “Always instructive to read a girl’s diary. If I can, I look for it to grab and read. Good for men to learn how deep female hair-raising insecurities go.”

Chris Walken once worked as a lion tamer for the Tarryl Jacobs Circus. Sheba the lion — toothless and friendly as a Pekingese — would deliver her suitable roar. Meantime consummate pro Walken failed his holiday test job at Macy’s.

MIDDLE East news: Iraq and Kuwait are still fighting. Forget Iran. Not even mentioning the crankiness of Canada. Or Sri Lanka, Sudan, Yemen, Congo, Myanmar, Pakistan, Nigeria, Mexico, Haiti, Taiwan.

Only on Earth, kids, only on Earth.