1. Blue TSUNAMI

by Jonas Du, Writer 

This week, Republicans lost, well, everything, including the House, Senate, and many competitive gubernatorial races, meaning unfortunately, you’re not getting those $5,000 checks from Daddy Trump.

Kansas, South Carolina, and Texas, where all six genders agreed with James Talarico that God is non-binary, went blue.

And my home, DC, voted to ban foie gras. The one upside is, the polls and prediction markets were finally… predictive? And AI was on people’s minds, but not seemingly driving their votes.

At the end of the day, when a main message of your presidential campaign was fixing the cost of living, and the cost of living is not good, and voters think you started another dumb war, and also that you’re corrupt — your party tends to lose “big league,” to borrow Trump’s language.

Practically speaking, my advice: put those pronouns back in your bio, hire a lawyer, and pray that God shows his/her/their mercy.

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2. Burn the witch

by Mike Solana, Editor-in-chief 

Like everyone else in San Francisco, I checked out the Liz Holmes doc over the weekend, the allure of which I think was just like: is this crazy circus freak lying to us, or is she only weird?

The film was masterful, and I commend all four stars (Liz, her husband Billy, the director Nate, and actress Amanda Seyfried) for courageously inviting us to examine their integrity.

But now, while somewhat beside the point, tech leaders have resumed a discussion on this canonical ‘singular evil fraud’ story… for obvious self-serving reasons.

Holmes was a witch, burned for behavior that was certainly bad, if greatly distorted by the public, in such a way as it absolved many other founders for uncomfortably similar behavior.

Now, there’s a big difference between ‘faking it until you make it’ and wire fraud. But, gentlemen, it’s okay to introspect a bit — are you sure you’re on the right side?

3. Becerra’s winning message: “Pay me.”

by Nicole Wizman, Writer

A Sacramento local news station conducted an interview with California governor-elect Xavier Becerra before the election.

Asked whether he’d tax EV drivers (many of whom switched to escape high gas prices / save the environment) Becerra answered, “Absolutely!” adding that “everything,” including a mileage tax, “should be on the table.”

Never mind that a mileage tax means annual mileage checks or tracking tech (hello, surveillance state).

Never mind also that Californians already pay the country’s highest gas tax while our highways rank 49th nationally.

Arguably the craziest part is Becerra’s sheer audacity — advertising exciting new ways to torture Californians DAYS before the midterms.

Politicians used to at least hide their evil tax regimes until after the election, or at least dodge questions / pinky-promise only the rich would pay.

Becerra didn’t even bother, because he knew his uniparty would win in California regardless. Elon, please work faster on those flying cars… before this guy tries to tax compressed air.

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