As The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives: Orange County debuts and new revelations about her marriage are unearthed, Jen Affleck is opening up about how she is doing amid her ongoing separation from her husband, Zac.

Chatting with DECIDER about the inaugural season of the California-based spinoff of Hulu‘s mega-hit reality series, Jen opened up about the news of her divorce filing coming out just days ahead of the show’s premiere and as the pair prepare to welcome their fourth child together.

“It’s been hard, It sucks. And I think it’s gonna suck for a while, but just trying my best to focus on the positive and focus on this baby,” Jen says. “I’m trying to be the best mom that I can be for my kids and show up for them because it’s hard for me, but also, most especially it’s [hard] for them too.”

Jen and Zac — who tied the knot in 2019 — currently share two daughters, Nora and Penelope, and one son, Luca. According to Jen in the new series, their fourth child, which she announced on Instagram back in June, is due any day now. What fans didn’t know at the time of her Instagram bump reveal (which received thousands of negative comments from fans who have been begging her to leave Zac since Season 1) is that she and Zac were not together at the time and that she was actively seeking out advice from divorce attorneys.

In one bombshell moment from the new series, Jen and castmate Aspyn Ovard — who similarly went through a public separation from her ex-husband, Parker, amid a pregnancy — even visit a law firm and speak to a lawyer who walks them through how divorces work in California. Things get even messier as Jen asks about how the process would change, at all, if one of the parties involved is pregnant. Well before that, though, the very first episode of the Mormon Wives: Orange County begins with Jen sussing out the details of Aspyn’s messy divorce and trying to reconcile with wanting to move forward with legally separating.

In a shockingly candid moment, Jen even admits that she and Zac moved to California for a fresh start and to put the struggles of the past several years behind them, only for her to say that she’s only felt more unsure and in a “crisis of faith” as they navigate life in a new city. “If anything, I feel worse,” Jen tells Aspyn. “Part of me feels like I know — maybe I actually know who I am and maybe I know what it is that I want, and maybe this isn’t what I want.”

Jen later says in a talking head that she knows people at home are “tired” ot the back and forth within her marriage, but that “a lot has happened” and that she has “hit her breaking point” after years of struggling to work through their issues. It’s then that she shares with the cameras that she has decided, definitively, to move forward with the divorce and truly turn the page on a new chapter in her life.

The rest of the season sees Jen holding steady in her separation from Zac, a stark contrast to the rollercoaster relationship fans have grown accustomed to throughout the original Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. It all leads to Jen finally coming to terms with the root cause of her issues with Whitney Leavitt from their season of Dancing With the Stars and Season 5 of Secret Lives, tearfully telling Whitney that she was jealous of her. Not only does Jen share that she was heartbroken over her own elimination from DWTS, she also had to contend with seeing Whitney’s husband, Conner, be her biggest supporter in all respects, something she says she never felt she received from her own partner.

For the young mom and TV star, that moment marked the beginning of her being able to truly heal and see the reality of the situation and what she wants out of a relationship for herself. From there, it was just about putting things into action and sticking to it, which she has (seemingly) done to this day now that the divorce filing is official. As for how she is feeling with everything out there, she tells DECIDER that she is just trying to stay strong, keep her head down, and show up for her family at this moment.

“I’m just doing the best that I can to navigate everything in the best way,” Jen says.

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives: Orange County Season 1 is streaming on Hulu.

If you’re new to Hulu, the basic (with ads) price is $11.99/month. If you want to upgrade to Hulu ad-free, it costs $18.99/month.

If you want to stream even more and save a few bucks a month while you’re at it, we recommend subscribing to one of the Disney+ Bundles, all of which include Hulu. These bundles start at $12.99/month for ad-supported Disney+ and Hulu and goes up to $32.99/month for Disney+, Hulu, and Max, all ad-free.