‘Nightcaps’ is a daily column that catches you up on the biggest sports, news and culture stories you may have missed while pretending to do work at your desk. It runs Monday–Friday on OutKick.com.

Final Hump Day of July. Can you believe it?

All 32 NFL teams have reported. We’ve already had at least one brawl in camp. Tua’s already hurt. Players are holding out. Players are “holding in” (figure that one out).

It’s all happening, folks, and …

The insufferable WNBA is again front and center.

Credit where it’s due — they’re stealing headlines. Perhaps that’s the goal? I’m not sure it’s the best strategy given that cultish league becomes uglier and uglier with each passing day, but hey, bad PR is still PR.

WNBA STAR SOPHIE CUNNINGHAM’S PLAYER EXCLUSIVE ADIDAS SHOE SELLS OUT IN LESS THAN AN HOUR ONLINE

Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps — the one where Sophie Cunningham continues to melt brains, this time out west! That’s right.

For those of you who thought Seattle was full of crazies, you ain’t seen nothing yet!

What else? I’ve got new Tony Romo bodycam footage from his OWI over the weekend, the Mets’ broadcasters being absolutely DISGUSTED by the Atlanta Braves, and MLB Network’s Abby Labar checks in to end the day.

TONY ROMO TREATING HIS FIELD SOBRIETY TEST LIKE AN NFL COMBINE LEAVES FANS STUNNED

Sound good? Good!

Grab you some chicken wings for National Chicken Wing Day, and settle in for a Hump Day ‘Cap!

The Seattle Storm could probably use a dude on the squad

First of all, blue cheese is the best dipping sauce for chicken wings. That’s probably an unpopular opinion, but it’s the correct one. Ranch is certainly more versatile, but blue cheese owns chicken wings.

Another unpopular opinion? Dry rub is the way to go. Give me the dipping sauce on the side. Buffalo wings are great. Garlic Parmesan wings are terrific. But give me those sauces on the side.

It’s cleaner and, frankly, it tastes better. You get a better bite. The little game you play at a restaurant between eating the wings, wiping your hands, and drinking your beer is exhausting. It’s too much. Doesn’t happen if the wings are naked. It’s just better.

Most things in life are.

And that’s your Ted Talk for the day!

Now, let’s get this class started with the Seattle Storm — who sit at a whopping 6-24 after last night’s loss to Indiana — being just the most insufferable “professional” sports team on the planet (this week, at least):

The Tony Romo bodycam footage is a stretch

The WNBA is such an embarrassing league. It’s a cult. It’s an activist group. It’s so backwards, it’s almost unbelievable.

Almost.

This Seattle Storm player, Stefanie Dolson, decided to try and make a name for herself by wearing a “Trans Rights Are Human Rights” shirt, and it’s just so pathetic.

Sophie Cunningham of the Phoenix Mercury pressures Stefanie Dolson of the Washington Mystics during the second half at Footprint Center in Phoenix, Ariz., on Sept. 5, 2024. The Mystics defeated the Mercury 90-77. (Getty Images)

Sophie Cunningham never said trans rights weren’t human rights, dummies. She said biological men don’t belong in women’s sports. That’s a stark difference. It’s something that, up until a few years ago, NEVER needed to be said because it was a laughable thought.

Of course they don’t belong! Duh.

But the narrative shifted a few years back, and it’s been a Culture War ever since. A dumb one, of course, but a war nonetheless.

PS: Let’s go ahead and check in on the all-inclusive Seattle Storm’s season:

Whoaaaaaaaaa Nellie! 6-24! Way to go, Storm. Worst team in the WNBA. 1-14 in the conference. Currently on a 7-game skid. Losers of nine of their last 10 games.

And THIS is the team that’s attacking Sophie Cunningham? Okeedokee.

Unserious league. Serious cult.

Next? Let’s head on out to Wisconsin, where Tony Romo failed his sobriety test last weekend despite going through all the proper warm-up techniques:

Braves pitcher bites the bullet, football is BACK & MLB Network’s Abby Labar!

“Sorry, two back surgeries, I need to stand here.”

Just PEAK TV from Tony Romo in that parking garage. I’ve given him a lot of crap over the years for his shtick in the booth, but this reeled me right back in. I’ve never seen a man get down on start to stretch like he’s about to run the 40 before a sobriety test. Never in my life.

Credit to Romo for giving it his all, though. Some folks mail it in. Not Romo. If he’s going to start a task, he’s going to try and do it to the best of his ability. That’s what four-time Pro Bowl quarterbacks do.

You play to win the game. A great man once said that, and it’s true in all facets of life — not just sports. Romo’s back was against the wall here after being stuffed in the back of a tiny police car on the drive over, and he needed to work up a quick sweat to get the juices flowing before the lights came on.

Tony Romo stretches before performing a field sobriety test. (Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Office)

PS: This Romo stuff forced me to do some Big J digging on Wisconsin DUI laws, and they are stunning. Did y’all know that A) it’s referred to as an “OWI” only in Wisconsin, and B) it’s basically a slap on the wrist for the first THREE offenses?

That’s right. In fact, the penalty for a first offense is a small fine ($150-300) and your license is revoked for a few months. That’s pretty much it.

Wild state.

OK, let’s rapid-fire this Hump Day class into a big Hump Day Night. First up? Where do we stand on the Braves letting this poor minor league kid get absolutely rocked the other night?

Goodness gracious. It’s tough to watch. I get it, but it’s tough to watch. You have to feel at least a little bad for Connor Thomas.

It does beg the question … when is enough enough? The Braves put in a position player right after him. Why not just do it earlier? What difference does it make at that point? You have plenty of position players. Can’t one of them just go out there and throw BP for an hour rather than shatter this kid’s confidence?

For those wondering what giving up 11 runs and walking five over 2.2 innings looks like on the stat sheet, Thomas is now 0-1 this season with a 21.32 ERA. He was sent back down to Gwinnett after the game.

He probably couldn’t get on that plane fast enough.

Next? I’ve got a ONE MONTH warning for all you dads out there with summer chores still not checked off …

Look at that … it’s beautiful. What a Week 0 slate!

• UNC-TCU at noon on ESPN. The Bill Belichick, Year 2 kickoff!
• For some reason, we actually get an ACC conference game at 3:30. What’s that all about?
• For those pining for the CBS theme song, head on over to CBS Sports Network at 5:30 for Jacksonville State and North Dakota.
• FSU at 7 p.m. on the CW, followed, I assume, by Smallville.
• End the day with a little Memphis-UNLV tilt on FOX!

Chills. We’re so close. One month, folks. Get that yard work DONE and ready for the fall over these next three weekends. Thank me later.

OK, that’s it for today. Solid Hump Day, everyone. I think we did well.

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MLB Network’s Abby Labar takes us into the second half of the week!

Would the Storm have more than six wins if they had a biological man on their team? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.